thestagingarea.com

To Jamie and I.

8 years. Who would have thought it possible; I certainly never thought it would happen.

Funny what happens in your life when you stop looking for something to happen.

Tonight, dinner at Rene Pujol. It will be wonderful. And then, who knows.

Revisit the start of it all on Jamie’s site.

Happy day! I love my husband.

There are those in the gay community who poo-poo the whole idea, saying that we should not mirror the straight community. I say, “Fuck ’em.” I’ve never been too keen on the whole “community identification superceding my own humanity” thing. And I’d write more on that, but I’m at work and need to get back to it. So I’ll just say again, as the late, great Bob B. did, “That’s what makes the phone book.”

And now, back to work,
k.

Tags: Ephemera, Family, Jamie, Life, Politics by Kirk
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Zim has some very valid points in his comment to my last post and I think they warrant a response post. First, go read his comments if you haven’t done so already.

The Christmas Spirit; I’ve found as I get older, that so many things conspire against it. In no particular order:

• Rampant commercialization of the season. This commercialization has so removed the “magic” of the season, that youthful innocence that lets us dream and believe.
• As tie-in to the above: The expansion of the season. When I was young, there was no Christmas anything until Santa arrived Thanksgiving Day on the Macy’s float. Nothing. Thanksgiving Day was the kick-off to the Christmas season. Now you start seeing Christmas things in stores or advertising as early as August. It’s this time-frame dilution that helps make it a far less anticipated, special event.
• The removal of Christ from Christmas. Regardless of your particular spiritual belief, this point applies: simply substitute whichever symbol of charity, sacrifice and unconditional love into the above sentence. Christmas is, in the end a construct; historically Christ was not born on Christmas. Christian holidays, all religiously based holidays, are sociopolitical constructs of the current ruling party/religion. The birth of Christ is celebrated on this particular day because it was easier to usurp an already existing celebration: you can’t cancel the Solstice festival, the Saturnalia, etc., but you can change it to your purpose. But in the end, each permutation is a celebration of life and this basic understanding of the season has been lost.
• Loss of contact with fellow human beings. As the world becomes seemingly more and more connected, it actually seems we are all moving apart. Phones keep us from talking face to face. Cars keep us from walking, where we might chance to meet. Computers allow us to sit in our homes, safe in our cocoons, to virtually connect, but is that a real connection? Without truly being among your fellow human beings, how is it possible to be human?

There is nothing wrong with enjoying the material aspects of the season; giving is a demonstration of an aspect of the spiritual model. Giving, that is, without any expectation of return, giving to show your love, your appreciation of another human being.

As I’ve written in a previous post, I do think it is important to do some regular, unconditional giving. It can be monetary, but it doesn’t need to be, it can be a donation of time, donation of goods, etc., simply some acknowledgment that there are those less fortunate, more needy, than you. And here, I’m not saying, “Be a martyr to humankind,” but rather recognize that we all depend on each other.

In that vein, I urge more “green-ness” in everyone’s life. We continue to dismantle the delicate symbiosis with our Earth. This practice of “green-ness” is another face of giving and respect. We need to protect and care for the planet on which we live. The Earth will certainly survive despite our shenanigans, but she may, no, will refuse to support our existence if we continue to divorce responsibility for our action from their consequences.

In the end, if we want to keep the “magic” of the season alive, we need to embrace our loved ones, and the world, in our hearts, care for and respect those around us and also the world in which we live. And always remember, as our ancestors found as those fearful days, ever shortening, ever dying, turned, became slowly longer, ever less inexplicably dark, we can go forward from darkness to light, from fear to joy. But we will always be more able if we go hand in hand, our hearts warm and our minds open.

Thanks to you, Zim for prompting this bit of philosophizin’.

Nite,
k.

Tags: Life, Politics, Spirituality by Kirk
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I’ve mentioned briefly before Jamie & my recent collision with organized religion and how, through the bad, it did bring about great good.

For the two-ish years we attended this particular church, we were heavily invented in it, in all senses of the word; we invested our emotions, our time and our money. As I said in the post linked to above, we are both still giving back financially to… God, Higher Power, what-have-you: to the Divine from which all things come.

Yes, I am spiritual. I do believe in a “higher power”. I have my little conversations with whatever you choose to call it, nearly every day. I find it comforting. I find it worthy. I find, in this world of increasing “me”-ness, that the acknowledgement of some power “greater than” is a centering, humbling practice.

For me.

Everyone is different, has different needs, practices, beliefs or lack thereof. It makes me no better, or anyone who doesn’t feel the same way, any worse. Our differences, as my dear Bob Bendorff used to say, are what “makes the phone book”. Homogeneity, monoculture, how boring and soul killing would a world like that be?

So this week, I’m feeling like I want to go to church on Sunday. Not that church. Never going back there. But there’s an Episcopal within walking distance and I’d like to go tomorrow.

Why? I’ve no idea. It’s just a desire that’s cropped up in my gut. I tend not to question these things. I just feel like I want… I don’t know, the experience, the reverential pause, mutually shared.

I like going outside our apartment to look at the sky, the trees, the world. It is my own personal reverential pause. My personal moment to stop and look around me, to see and feel the world. And really, that’s kind of my church, standing in the air, listening to the trees and birds and insects, looking up at the stars… It’s where I find my “calm center”.

I’ve always had a dicey relationship with organized religion. Through the years I’ve read, tried out, experienced a variety of religious permutations: Christianity, Eastern, the old religions. I’ve found all of them somewhat lacking as they are all tainted by the human element. To use a base, somewhat spiritually deficient corollary, it’s like my beautiful, pristinely shiny stainless steel refrigerator, you can’t touch it without leaving a fingerprint. And that fingerprint stands out like a sore thumb.

Organized religion is the attempt to understand the mystical, to put it in a neat box. You can’t.

Well, oops, organized religion is the attempt to control the masses though the use of a big bat called “God”, ‘Allah”, the Maiden, Mother and Crone (admittedly the older earth-based spriritualities are less so, but still, in a coven, there’s a leader and where you have a leader…), what-have-you. Organized religion is about “rules”.

“The Spirit” existed long before man came along and will still be here when we are nothing but a memory. We are unnecessary in the bigger picture. Organized religion tends not to pay that any mind.

And in the end, what are these religions all saying? What is the base from which all the man-made extranea is built? What are the basic rules?

How about: respect and love.

How good is man with those concepts? How good is organized religion with those concepts?

And so, I’m left with this slight feeling of hypocrisy in wanting to go to church tomorrow.

But sometimes, I like the ritual, the community. And sometimes, the Spirit manages to make an appearance despite the man-made constraints. And those times are glorious.

k.

Tags: Life, Politics, Spirituality by Kirk
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That’s what the air is tonight. Crisp. Autumnal. The sky is clear and star-filled. And living in NYC, that last is saying something.

I think of all the seasons, Autumn is my favorite. Well, I don’t think that, I know that. Maybe it has something to do with the on-set of the end, or rather, the big rest. It’s a time of amazing energy and change. The same could be said for the Spring, which is my second favorite season. Winter being my third. Summer, dead last; so far behind the pack, to borrow a line, it thinks it’s in the lead.

I’m looking forward to the upcoming (how did the time pass so damned quickly) holiday season. I know, I know, believe me, I rail against the ridiculous, disturbing American need to start selling the holidays months before they’re here. But today, on one of my walks, in the air’s crackling briskness, I looked into the building’s little garden area: someone had decorated it with mini-pumpkins and suddenly, I was whooshed ahead to Halloween, and Thanksgiving. And it made me feel good.

Probably because this year, unlike any since I left my parents’ home 27 years ago, I’ll be celebrating in a home. In my home. With my husband and cats and, if Jamie and I ever get our act together and figure out a date, with friends over for the holidays. Oh it all sounds so traditional and mundane; so straight. It really isn’t. What it is, is glorious. There are many times when I, like we all do, get caught up in my own little dramas, petty annoyances, drudging ruts. It’s human nature; it’s what we do. For some perverse reason, it’s so very easy to complain.

But the truth of it is, I’m damned lucky. And happy. And I think most of us are. Not in some Edenic way, only the insane and the sainted live there, but all of us who have some modicum of comfort and freedom and friendship and love in our lives should take a moment each day and say thanks to whatever power we happen to belive in. An island without life is just a barren rock, and that’s no way to live.

As the performance artist, Penny Arcade, says, “You should love somebody. It’s the most political act there is. It’s the only one that truly changes the world.”

Hey, wasn’t this post about Autumn?

Nite,
k.

Tags: Ephemera, Family, Jamie, Life, NYC, Politics, Theatre by Kirk
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Happy 4th.

There is, from time to time when history demands, a grand Thomas Paine moment. A moment in which the feelings of the people are coalesced into a passionate call for action from a single voice.

Given the recent commutation of “Scooter” Libby by our Governor in Chief on July 4th eve, July 4th, the day we commemorate this country’s bold decision to throw off the reins of a tyrannical monarch and live, (albeit still flawed in theory and practice) of the people, by the people and for the people, given the trampling of this shining ideal we live by under the callous feet of the nominal head of our government, the time for that Voice is now.

And that Voice has spoken.

If you have not read or heard Keith Olbermann’s piece “Bush, Cheney, Should Resign”, then I urge you to follow this link and give it a read or a listen. This man has beautifully summed up the feelings that have been growing stronger with each passing day, each life lost in Iraq, each lie by our leaders left unpunished… Go see for yourself, it is powerful beyond belief.

And in lighter news, the tile has been laid down in the kitchen, it just needs grouting and it will be finished.

Jamie and I spent an unreasonable amount of time in Home Depot (How do you say it? Deepo or Deppo? My Dad favors Deppo.) buying lighting fixtures, outlets and light switches. It’s the little things that warm the heart.

Tomorrow, our friend Deana is coming over to help us finalize the color choices and layout. That, then, means we shall be painting all weekend. Priming and painting. Jamie wants to have it all done before mid-next week, before the appliances arrive. Should be great fun.

Anywhoo, below is the link to the latest tiny phonecam video. They are stupid, but they amuse me, so…

Stupid Tiny Movie Link

And just in case you ignored me earlier, get your ass over to Keith Olbermann’s piece and check it out.

Nite,
k.

Tags: Jamie, Life, Moving, Politics by Kirk
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